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Broken Wings and Dirty Feet

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Sunday, February 13th, 2005
4:10 pm
there is something in death that brings us full circle to the living. at least, thats what ive concluded.

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Monday, September 20th, 2004
10:49 am
well i made it through this hurricane with all my fingers and toes. lucky for me i had a friend to ride out the storm with. my parents called thursday morning to check on me. they still had power and pancakes. so my friend and i packed up and went to moms for good food and the overall joy that only power can offer. it went out at around 2:00pm and was out until 9:45. during that time my dad, my 4 brothers, my friend, my brothers girlfriend/baby momma, and i played poker and other board games. it was neat having the family together laughing and playing games. we survived a day together in one room. i am grateful for the time we had, it was the stuff memories are made of. yesterday though, my brother threw a bag of groceries at my head. the ice cream made contact. we yelled alot. things are back to normal i guess. but well always have ivan.

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Wednesday, September 15th, 2004
4:45 pm - who is ivan?
i am scantily prepared for this panic called ivan. i do have a case of water, 2 cans of vienna sausages, 1 can of spam, and 4 cans of tuna. not because i just went out and bought them, but because i always have that in the cabinet. i do NOT have: batteries, flashlight, more than 5 votive candles, or any good sense about what to do in an emergency. so i guess im saying i will miss you if one of these hundred year old trees take me out along with my house. i am just ready for it all to be over and to hopefully find that everyone else was panicked for nothing, rather than find i should have been better prepared.

current mood: hopeful

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Saturday, September 11th, 2004
4:08 pm
steven are you on msn??? find me i wanna talk...

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Friday, September 10th, 2004
8:45 pm
I WISH I COULD BUY THE WOMAN YOU STOLE.

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Tuesday, August 24th, 2004
4:55 pm
i hear people talk about how they moved around alot when they were younger. i moved alot as a child as well, only we never moved out of this city. shit we usually stayed in the same neighborhood, once we even moved to another house on the same street. so this is not the same, but it is similar. the feeling of home becomes distorted, and you never quite feel comfortable. i have developed a habit for never totally unpacking when i move, because some part of me knows i will be boxing it up sooner than later. but there is one house that has always seemed like my childhood home. it was where my grandmother lived. once my mom moved us next door to her. when we moved out my uncle and aunt moved in to our house. then when my grandmother moved around the corner, my other uncle/aunt pair moved in to her house. i only lived on that street for a year, but my memories there span at least eight. there was this one house on the corner. it was empty and dilapidated for as long as i could remember, but it was beautiful to me. i saw what it could be, what it once was. i, even as a child, had the ability to see what no one else could. it was a two story house with a huge wrap around porch. it had the remnants of a porch swing in front. i imagined its inside to be divine, yet i know it wasnt because it was a fire that left it empty. i dreamed that one day it would be my house and i could restore it to all its glory. i drive by that street everyday, but the house is gone now. they tore it down this year. there, in the spot where my dream once stood, is merely an empty lot.

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Wednesday, August 11th, 2004
5:05 pm - for joseph
i am posting. i have nothing to say, but i am posting. work sucks as usual and i want to get drunk. hope i get to see some of you fabulously cool folks soon, or i just might go crazy. i cant wait for my check so i can finally replace all my shit that was stolen. comming very very very soon.

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Tuesday, July 27th, 2004
8:03 pm
I wish I had a porch. And I don't mean a little concrete ouside my front door, I mean a PORCH. A big southern porch set two feet off the ground with a swing on it. Like when I was young, I would go to my grandma's house and swing on the porch making up jokes or songs or whatever. It was the freedom of the outdoors, but with the safety of home (not to mention the convience of a bathroom). I loved jumping off the porch and pushing my brothers off when their backs were turned. Over the years the porch and I have grown together. I stopped salting the slugs that crawled up the sides. I began to take the phone outside on the porch for the privacy it could offer. My friends and I sat on the porch smoking cigarrettes, while we laughed and talked about boys. The porches of my life have seemed more inviting than many of the homes I have lived. I wish for my children a porch, with imagination and contentment to enjoy all it can offer.

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Sunday, July 25th, 2004
11:17 am
ok, let me just tell you how my friday went. a few people from work convince me to go out after a grueling friday at the bank. as we walk into the bar, i found a hundred dollar bill on the street. feeling a little guilty, i decide to keep it and buy all the drinks for my work friends. i left and went to a friends poker game and played texas hold em for the first time ever. i won. nevermind it wasnt my money i was playing with. never mind the only experience i have with the game is what i have seen on tv. nevermind i was the only girl there. (they usually dont let girls play) i played like i knew what was going on, and i took the money and left. i knew that my luck had probably run out so i havent left the house since friday. i have to go to the store today and im worried that a box of tide might fall on my head or something. scary to think.

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Wednesday, July 21st, 2004
10:26 pm
some people are just F'N ASSHOLES. (i am making no claim that i was the first to discover this fact, nor will i be the last) shit its not even my first time realizing it. i guess it just seems more profoud when the asshole dresses up in friends clothing...

current mood: pissed off

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Monday, July 19th, 2004
11:31 pm
Sooner is better than later....

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Wednesday, July 7th, 2004
9:51 pm - for you
If I could only be
His angel
In the porchlight
Maybe I could feel
Again not today's
Bruises but yesterday's
Scars We could lick each
Other's wounds
Until we became
Complacent with pain
And love

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6:03 pm - things that make you go hmmm...
well i was sitting here remembering when a "very good friend" and i were discussing life and love and the meaning of it all. the discussion made its way to one of the most important question one could ask...do penguins have penises? well i had to say no they dont have little wangs dangling between thier legs, while said friend took the opposite approach believing that under those cute little tuxedolike suits were very large dongs. i dont know how many of you have pondered this, but just the question seemed to change me a little. in my search for knowlege i found that i was indeed correct, there is no penguin penis. which is really quite sad when you think of it. and i hope we have all learned a valuable lesson from those penisless penguins: even though yours may be small there is a creature without one at all.

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Monday, July 5th, 2004
1:35 pm - that's me
marquis
You are the Marquis Da Sade. Even stripped of
exaggerations, Your real life was as dramatic
and as tragic as a cautionary tale. Born to an
ancient and noble house, you were married
(against your wishes) to a middle-class heiress
for money, caused scandals with prostitutes and
with your sister-in-law, thus enraging your
mother-in-law, who had you imprisoned under a
lettre de cachet for 14 years until the
Revolution freed you. Amphibian, protean,
charming, you became a Revolutionary,
miraculously escaping the guillotine during the
Terror, only to be arrested later for
publishing your erotic novels. You spent your
final 12 years in the insane asylum at
Charenton, where you caused another scandal by
directing plays using inmates and professional
actors. You died there in 1814, virtually in
the arms of your teenage mistress.
You are a revolutionary deviant. I applaud you.


Which Imfamous criminal are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

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Sunday, July 4th, 2004
9:50 pm
Get to know the REAL you by crash_and_burn
Your Name
You Are A:Goth
Your Favorite Band/SongAerosmith - Walk This Way
You Like To Read:Anything political
You Firmly Believe In:Nose-picking
Everyone Thinks You Are:A complete loser
You Were Conceived:In a cheap motel
You Will Marry:The high-school slut
Created with the ORIGINAL MemeGen!

but i was the high school slut...

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Friday, July 2nd, 2004
11:03 pm - Happy Freedom to all....
Well as soon as I get off work tomorrow, I am on my way to Biloxi! Yea for me. I am excited and a little scared. If I win it will be hotdogs for everyone, If I lose, however, I won't be able to eat until next month...hope it goes well. I hope everyone has an exciting weekend. Celebrate. It is still a semi free country (for now).

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Thursday, July 1st, 2004
7:46 pm - Whoa this is scary

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Monday, January 28th, 2002
10:48 am
well i got out of class early today so i felt i should write to update you all on my boring tedious life. i am completely through with edmund. i am actually dating chris now and seem to be quite happy with him. i am sure i will fuck it up sooner or later. i cant describe the feeling i get when i am with him. its like i FEEL for the first time. but nevermind all that. ed is furious about the two of us being together, witch is reasonable for a few weeks, but now its time to move on and grow up. the funny thing is that he is seeing someone else as well he just thinks i dont know about it. he sill calls in the middle of the night, and he is still as fucked up as ever. like the 3 oclock "FUCK YOU" and the emergency room call. where was his new girlfriend when his ass was out potentially killing people? well i fell for it and spent an entire night in the emergency room calming him down for the nurses. i keep letting him affect my life. i feel ultimately responsible for him, and i shouldnt. well blah blah. generally things are the same and i am good. i will finish reading everyones posts to catch up, but i gotta go to class.

current mood: blah

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Friday, October 26th, 2001
12:44 pm
Disorder | Rating
Paranoid: High
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: High
Antisocial: High
Borderline: Very High
Histrionic: High
Narcissistic: High
Avoidant: High
Dependent: Very High
Obsessive-Compulsive: High
well at least im not schizoid, i think. i think this is horrible. i am so fucked up.

current mood: crazy

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Wednesday, October 24th, 2001
1:33 pm
well it is officially my birthday. i really appreciate all the posts. you guys are soooo cool. i love you too. i had so much fun last night and i am paying for it now. but hey, no pain no gain. so im feeling the pain, but the bartender got my phone number. thats a definate gain! well i am sitting in the sga office posting this so i really ought to go. i am officially a member of the cool club. it feels wonderful! thank you all so very much, you made me feel super special.

current mood: drunk

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